I'm sitting here chatting on MSN messenger (hey, they have really improved that program...) with an old friend that I had not talked to in awhile, and my friggin dog FARTS. And it's a NASTY one... Now, there's two things about this that really stand out to me:

First of all, the last time this old friend and I chattend on MSN-IM, the dog was farting up a stinky storm, too. And I mean STINK. Tim (the old friend on chat) pointed that out to me. Funny what people remember about the last time you communicated with them, isn't it? :)

Greg H says: MAN
Greg H says: my dog farted
Greg H says: AHHHHHHHHHHH
Figgy* says: Again??
Figgy* says: lol
Figgy* says: I remember you complaining about that last time we talked
Greg H says: HOLY CRAP
Greg H says: <COUGH COUIGH>
Figgy* says: Keep an oxygen tank near the computer
Greg H says: heh
Greg H says: yeah
Figgy* says: then get all "high" off of it too
Greg H says: high off oxygen
Greg H says: LOL
Figgy* says: lol
Greg H says: yeahhhhh
Figgy* says: Yeah, pure oxygen is messy
Figgy* says: Ok, time to read your journal
Greg H says: ok - I am writing about dog farts now LOL
Figgy* says: lol

Okay, so the second thing is that my dog is plotting against me. He knows well and good exactly what he is doing. How, you ask, can I tell? Simple: Every time this dog farts, he's lying there on the floor, or on the bed, or whatever... He lets one loose, immediately gets up and moves away or out of the room with that look on his face. You know - the one that says "please don’t kill me."

Here's what I want to know: If he KNOWS it's going to make me unhappy (because these are not your average run-of-the-mill farts), why can't he get up and move BEFORE he lets one loose? Leave the room and go fart somewhere else???

There's only one answer: It's on purpose. No doubt.

- g