Thursday, 13 October 2011

Siri is coming to the iPhone 4S on Friday, and already people are starting to discover the Apple virtual assistant has a but of a sense of humor.

To chronicle and record for humorous posterity all the unusual, funny, shocking or otherwise interesting crap Siri comes up with, I have created Darn Your Siri - http://www.darnyousiri.com - where anyone can post their funny Siri screenshots there, too - just go to the submission page. That name seemed a little less inappropriate than something like "shit Siri says" but I see that's also a site someone fired up. Of course they did! :)

To take a screen grab of any iPhone screen, hold down the home/round button while at the same time clicking teh power/sleep/wake button on top. The resulting screen grab JPG file is saved in your photo gallery on the iPhone.

I'll be seeing what all Siri has to say soon, when my phone arrives from Sprint on Friday.



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Thursday, 13 October 2011 18:19:07 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 12 December 2008

Try explaining to someone that you're thinking of flying a route into the State of Washington from Oregon that will take you close to Rainier. It's not quite as simple as it sounds...


"Where are you?"

"I'm near Rainier."

"Ummmm..."



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Friday, 12 December 2008 22:41:18 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 16 October 2008

My friend Richard Campbell and I spent the morning recording a couple episodes of RunAs Radio for publication in the near future. One of our guests (whom we shall reveal when the show is published) provided some amazingly great information about using Performance Monitor, or "perfmon" for short. He's a perfmon Ninja, really. I'm excited about that show because I think when it comes up I think people will be able to learn something quite useful, as it includes some desktop video (perfmon is, after all, a very visual tool) and other resources. I think you'll like it.

Needless to say, both of us have been playing with perfmon for the past hour. Richard just IM'ed me with a funny situation, though:

Not really sure how that works. :)

So, be sure to check out RunAs Radio for the Performance Monitor show, which will be published sometime in the next couple weeks. We've also had a number of other great guests sit down with us over the past while, talking about some very useful topics suited for IT professionals. So check it out!



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Thursday, 16 October 2008 12:18:14 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 19 September 2008

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day (as happens every September 19th), and Google's jumped into the fray with Pirate search. Try it here. Enjoy.





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Friday, 19 September 2008 08:15:41 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 11 September 2008
Seinfeld and Gates are back at it again, somehow advertising Microsoft Windows. It's starting to make at least a little sense. Kind of.

If nothing else, it's getting funnier. I know most people said they didn't like the first commercial much. I liked it, though. This second one pretty long. Enjoy:


(via Brier Dudley at the Seattle Times)

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Thursday, 11 September 2008 19:06:10 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 04 September 2008

The first commercial in Microsoft's new ad campaign with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates is out. I thought it was pretty funny and smart. Subtle, very subtle.

This made me laugh out loud: Gates' "Shoe Circus Clown Club Platinum Card" picture is actually his mug shot from an arrest for traffic violations in New Mexico, way back in 1977. Classic, and funny.


Here's the new commercial. I like the idea of starting out really vague and (we have to assume) building from there. Very Seinfeld-ish.




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Thursday, 04 September 2008 21:39:51 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 13 August 2008

My knowledge and social integrity was called into question this evening (in an instant messaging group chat session) about a rule-related fact I declared to be true based on the Rules of Jinx. I've always considered the rules to be pretty straight forward, and we all know they are unflinchingly rigid, but I'm willing to accept that evidence is the best proof when someone questions you.

And what better evidence than an encyclopedia of "facts" made up by pretty much anyone who says they know what they're talking about? I went to Wikipedia, and the entry there about the rules of Jinx. I'm posting a portion of it here for easy future reference.

A jinx can be initiated when at least two people in casual conversation unintentionally say (or type, in the case of Internet jinx) the same word or phrase at the same time. If one of them (the "jinxer") yells "Jinx!" before any further conversation has begun, the other person (the "jinxee") is in a state of being "jinxed" and may not speak further until they are "released" from the jinx. The rules for what constitutes such a release vary. Traditionally, a jinx is ended when anyone speaks the jinxed person's name. However, a common variation says that only the jinxer can free the jinxee from their obligation to remain silent. (This is sometimes called a "private jinx" or "jinx personal lock".)

The game ends when either the jinxee is released from the jinx or when the jinxee "breaks" the jinx by speaking while in a state of being jinxed. In the latter case, the Jinxee loses the game and a penalty is exacted.

Simultaneous speaking that is planned or expected, such as during the recitation of the
Pledge of Allegiance or during the singing of a song, is ineligible for a jinx to occur. A jinx may only follow a spontaneous and unexpected overlapping of conversation by both parties.

See the wikipedia article for penalties, variations and details about the Jinx Sequence.

Okay. Back to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress...



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Wednesday, 13 August 2008 22:58:50 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 24 July 2008


Dunno about twice as fast, but will it blend? Blendtec (of course) decided to find out. Found via the Google Mobile blog.



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Thursday, 24 July 2008 10:48:16 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 15 July 2008

You can spend literally minutes (many of them) watching Gary Busey comment on various aspects of business and entrepreneurialism, and laughing in the process. Awesome. Highly recommended, since Gary is one of my favorites. You can click the buttons at the bottom of the video screen to get to different sections, each with several "episodes."

And by the way, the gotvmail service this video series is meant to virally market is pretty great, too. You might want to check that service out if you need a more-formal call-handling system for your smaller-sized business but don't want to shell out the money to buy all the classic PBX hardware. Great for distributed teams and virtual offices, too.



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Tuesday, 15 July 2008 17:57:26 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Everything about this video - The Website is Down - is so sarcastically and stereotypically hilarious. Josh Weinberg (the creator) is my new hero.
A mashup of true and mostly-true stories from IT hell. If you've ever called tech support and wondered what the hell they are doing down there... well, this should answer some questions for you. Starring Apache, Windows XP, Linux and Halo (among many others).
Note: There's some very NSFW language and visuals. You have been warned.

I'm not going to post video here -- You need to go to the site and watch the whole thing, and then be sure to check out the geeky interactive UI at the end.

(via Chris Pirillo on Twitter)


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Tuesday, 24 June 2008 19:15:51 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 06 April 2008

˙ʎoɾuǝ ˙ǝɹǝɥ ʇı ʇǝƃ uɐɔ noʎ 'ƃuılǝǝɟ ʇɐɥʇ ʇsnɾ ɹoɟ ƃuıʞool ǝɹ,noʎ ǝɔuɐɥɔ ʎq ɟı ʇnq ˙ƃuılǝǝɟ unɟ ɐ ʇou

¿noʎ uo ɹǝʌo pǝlloɹ pɐɥ ʇı ǝʞıl ʇlǝɟ plɹoʍ ǝloɥʍ ǝɥʇ puɐ pɐǝɥ sʇı uo pǝddılɟ sɯǝǝs ʇsnɾ ƃuıɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ uǝɥʍ 'sʎɐp ǝsoɥʇ ɟo ǝuo ǝʌɐɥ ɹǝʌǝ

(via Guy Kawasaki on Twitter)



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Sunday, 06 April 2008 09:48:32 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 02 March 2008

... and one of the best scenes. Silly, really. But every time I watch this film I laugh out loud, even still today.

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

 
Sorry for the random post. I have no idea why I'm writing this, really. For some reason it was just on my mind.
 
If you've never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, then each of the following three things applies directly to you:
  1. Your life is incomplete
  2. You're missing out
  3. Shame on you

So go rent or buy a copy now, then watch it and relax, knowing your life is much more whole than it had been before you read this post.



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Sunday, 02 March 2008 23:22:59 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 20 February 2008

fortuneLast night I got Chinese food from the local place and took it home.

After the meal I broke open my fortune cookie. I handed the paper to a friend of mine to read since I didn't have my glasses on and for all I knew I was trying to read it upside down (turns out I was).

I thought my friend was messing with me when he read it out loud.

Anyone have any suggestions at this point? Tin foil hats or garlic or something?

I'm saving this one.



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Wednesday, 20 February 2008 09:39:47 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 06 February 2008

WTFs/m - that's perfect! I think my good QA friend Brent would probably agree (and laugh out loud)... Mild cartoon language follows, but the humor is worth it.

WTFs/m.

(discovered via Robert Hensing's blog)



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Wednesday, 06 February 2008 19:05:25 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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Awesome. Another Improv Everywhere "mission," everyone frozen in place in Grand Central Station at precisely the same time. No need to say more, really - just watch, it's great.

 

Story and some cool pictures here, and other missions are listed here. Thanks to Jake (once again) for pointing to something cool.



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Wednesday, 06 February 2008 14:05:53 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Via Jake at UtterlyBoring.com, the latest in the "Will it Blend?" series is here. Don't mess with Chuck Norris:

    

You'll find a bunch of humorous blender commercials at http://www.willitblend.com/. You can also buy the blenders there.



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Wednesday, 30 January 2008 08:22:19 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Modesto, California - home to the annual Ninja Parade, was once again treated to an amazing display of Ninja skill this year.

    

Thank you, Onion News Network, and to Alex for passing this along. :)



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Tuesday, 30 October 2007 09:12:19 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 16 September 2007

Now, I'm really not sure how this contextual ad ended up in my Google Mail interface, but I thought it was pretty funny:

funny-gmail-ad
(click the image to view full size if you like)

I'm trying to figure out exactly which one of my friends has the hot mom. Hmmm. Anyone know? Heh. Hey, everyone needs to find an unhappily married woman, eh? Makes me wonder just how many clicks that one gets.



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Sunday, 16 September 2007 19:50:36 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 14 September 2007

This is pretty funny. Note: Some rough language and typical juvenile video game sexual stuff (NSFW). About the same stuff you experience any time you play on Live really, but hey the warning is there in case. Enjoy.



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Friday, 14 September 2007 13:22:23 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 28 August 2007

It doesn't have to be mean or vandalism to be a good school prank.

  

Gotta give 'em credit. Well done.



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Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:50:45 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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Ummmm, wow. Just click it.



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Tuesday, 28 August 2007 18:54:30 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 30 July 2007

I was randomly looking at blogs and doing some read-click-read-click-drill-down action when I ran across something that made me laugh out loud, which as it turns out was written on a blog of someone that I used to work with. Small world eh?

It's a list of ten URLs that some unfortunate businesses not only registered, but without realizing they put into actual use.

Blatantly copied here from Steve's Rant (hi Steve!):

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com



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Monday, 30 July 2007 11:12:26 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 12 June 2007

IMG_0203From the What The Heck Were They Thinking Department:

I get a lot of "free" business magazines in my position at work. It's one of those inevitable and unavoidable facts of being in a job with "chief" and "executive" in the title. Some of them are actually useful. Many of them are not. A few have absolutely nothing to do with my job or areas of expertise. Those ones tend to get the virtual toilet flush, without so much as being reviewed.

Speaking of which, a new magazine arrived in my office mailbox today, and upon first glance the cover made me wonder, "Why in the world would someone actually name their magazine that?" Specifically, the acronym.

And for what it's worth, the magazine actually has some good stuff in it. But in an English speaking world, well...

I'd just go with the full name, myself.



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Tuesday, 12 June 2007 21:58:20 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 20 March 2007

We all have tell-tale signs that the level of difficulty, stress, work or just plain old "stuff" is too high. Maybe we spout off, maybe we forget things - It's different for all of us.

For me it happened on Sunday: I got in my truck, drove down the driveway, turned right and headed for town. A few minutes into the drive something just didn't seem right, and after trying for several seconds to put my brain on what was amiss, I realized I was still wearing my slippers. Luckily I had fresh socks on and shoes in the car. Heh.

Ever done funny or crazy things thanks to the amount of active clutter going on in your brain and life? Here's your chance to admit it. :)



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Tuesday, 20 March 2007 12:12:41 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 11 January 2007

Every now and then you find a real gem worthy of pointing to. It's one of those days. A few of the guys who work on my team apparently had an interesting conversation today - one of those ones that, well... As Brent says:

"Today I had one of those conversations. You know, the mildly creative, useless, on the verge of non-pc, feeling giddy, make you laugh conversations."

Read all about it at his blog. They did the math and arrived at the definition for some pretty important technology figures. 'Nuf said. Heh.



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Thursday, 11 January 2007 23:18:28 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 01 January 2007

Just a few goofballs hanging out on New Year's Day. We watched WWE, played the 20Q game, did party poppers, ate nachos, and whatever. And hey, goofball is fun.

Greg, Rogan and Cory
Above: Greg, Rogan and Cory hanging out at the place (listed in order seated in the picture, left to right and I explain that just so Cory doesn't get upset about being last, heh).

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Monday, 01 January 2007 19:34:49 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 16 December 2006

My friend and coworker, Brent, is working this weekend so he can tie up some stuff and go on a real vacation time with his family. Brent does QA, which means he's a bit uhhh twisted at times (and I say that in a respectful, caring way of course, with a friendly smile on my face). Since running QA tests these days often means clicking a button and waiting the automated tests run (quickly, accurately and efficiently, I might add), Brent has short gaps of wait time. QA people get bored quickly these days. Darn that test automation! Between .NET and automated testing systems, our software engineers are becoming the next big population of ADD, MTV-style, video-game-attention-span, immediate gratification victims.

Of course, they already play video games and uhhh, never mind.

But that's not my point. Brent spent one of his while-the-test-is-running gaps goofing around on the Internet and just came up with this:

 

Click the pic to see the whole thing. You can also upload your own photos and make your own video. Or one of someone else you know (preferably someone who isn't too proud and won't be offended, angry or whatever - but I've already been victimized).

Wow, scary. Heh.



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Saturday, 16 December 2006 12:43:41 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 22 August 2006

You know you're HR staff is top-notch when they solve personnel behavior problems in creative ways that actually have impact. For example, what if this email appeared in your inbox?

"If you enjoyed the pizza you forgot you didn't bring in that was in a box in the first floor refrigerator and you want to thank the co-worker who actually did buy it, please contact me for the person's name."

Nice. Of course the offender didn't reveal themselves, but I think this helped solve the real problem, and people definitely took notice.

What creative HRisms have you seen over the years?

(P.S. - Stealing is wrong. Please don't steal. It's bad.)

Technorati : , ,



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Tuesday, 22 August 2006 16:31:38 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 16 June 2006

Okay, so the video of the Bellagio style fountain show with Diet Coke mixed with a bunch of Mentos was cool. But what happens when you mix them up in your body? Makes for some serious gas, I guess.

Wonder no more. Here's yet another video where the subject performs another Mentos experiment that succinctly proves the theory (click to view the video):

Pepsi-girl

Thanks, Sean.



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Friday, 16 June 2006 19:42:50 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 04 June 2006

Diet-coke-and-mentosI know, I know - it's sooo lame to link to Internet videos, blah blah, but seriously I only link to the ones that make me go WOW... This one certainly got me to play it more than just once.

The Extreme Diet Coke & Mentos Experiments:

What happens when you combine 200 liters of Diet Coke and over 500 Mentos mints? It's amazing and completely insane.

This has to be one of the better orchestrated Intarweb videos I have seen in awhile. Two guys take 200 bottles of Diet Coke, drop a bunch of mentos in the bottles, and end up with a terrific - albeit kinda messy - display. It does cause one to wonder, though:

If I eat Mentos and drink Diet Coke will I blow up????

Watch it here. Some of the earlier tests are also viewable online. Heh.



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Sunday, 04 June 2006 07:29:08 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 03 June 2006

If there is one thing I have learned lately, it's that I have been wrong all along about how to solve problems between businesses. It's become very clear to me over the past few days of industry observation that the only way way to solve a problem is to serve some form of aggressive legal notice just as soon as humanly possible. So, as part of my top-secret role as a representative of an organization I am not actually allowed to tell you about, the following notice has been formally served on America Company and its CEO.

Background: America Company has infringed on the property rights of the organization I represent, and it's obvious they have done so intentionally and without even asking or offering to cook dinner or anything. That phone call back in February where they asked if it "would be cool" to use the trademark doesn't really count - it was purely a discussion of hypotheticals and whatever was said was certainly not really meant.

So, I regret even having to go this far. It is a very difficult thing to have to do. Unfortunately, it's now officially the only acceptable way left to solve real problems...

Dear AMERICA COMPANY and RORY BLYTHE, CEO:

I am counsel to AMERICA THE OTHER COUNTRY LLC (herein referred to as "SHADOW AMERICA"). Working closely with THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (and its predecessor, THE COMMONWEALTH OF SALEM) as well as its various divisions and entities, SHADOW AMERICA is the creator and producer of of the ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE and ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM CONFERENCE, and has been constructing and distributing these machines, and conducting these conferences, since 2004. As a result of our investment of time, energy and resources in the production of the ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE and related conferences, and the associated ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE service-marks and product trademarks, members of the industry and interested members of the public have come to associate the mark "ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE" and the ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE conferences with SHADOW AMERICA and THE COMMONWEALTH OF SALEM.

It has come to my attention that you have marketed a service and/or device entitled in whole or part ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE. Through this title, you are misinterpreting and misrepresenting, and recipients are given the direct and false impression that you are providing them with SHADOW AMERICA'S ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE device. We have received numerous complaints related to confusion among our highly confidential and sensitive list of customers surrounding your marketing materials published on or about June 3, 2006, and other similar items.

SHADOW AMERICA has a pending application for the registration of ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE as a service mark for the production, marketing and sale of devices, namely combination ATM-scam machines, associated devices and services related thereto in various fields of technology and services. You use of the ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE mark without our authorization or consent directly violates our exclusive rights. Selecting this title can only been seen as a deliberate attempt to trade off the good will of SHADOW AMERICA and causes confusion in the market. You mis-use, ironically, is exacerbated by your use of the term "AMERICA COMPANY" in your marketing material, which is close in language and terminology to SHADOW AMERICA, and due to the little-understood yet existing connection between SHADOW AMERICA and THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, your company's name further complicates matters for consumers. Moreover, such actions contribute to unfair trade practices, unfair competition and are a flagrant violation of SHADOW AMERICA'S trademark rights.

SHADOW AMERICA hereby demands that you immediately cease and desist from utilizing ATM/NIGERIAN SCAM MACHINE at the name or title of your products and/or services, and from making any further use of our mark, or any mark that is confusingly similar to it. SHADOW AMERICA further demands that you provide us written assurance within ten days that you have ceased to use such name and title and that you will refrain from using and SHADOW AMERICA marks in the future.

Any further actions by SHADOW AMERICA will depend on the nature and promptness of your response. SHADOW AMERICA will retain and reserve all of its rights with respect to your actions to date.

Very Truly Yours,

Sosu Mie
SHADOW AMERICA
(AMERICA THE OTHER COUNTRY LLC)

Rory, you've been served. Again, I blame you.

Ok. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...



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Saturday, 03 June 2006 20:07:34 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 08 May 2006

Thanks to Omar for the links: I had already seen Stephen Colbert's roast of President Bush from the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, but I didn't know about Bush's own roast of Bush from the same event, until now.

    Bushandbush

Now that's pretty funny. Heh...



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Monday, 08 May 2006 19:19:32 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 10 February 2006

My co-worker Alex sent this across in email today...

Programmer or Serial Killer?

Take the quiz - can you tell the programmers fro the serial killers?

My score - 7/10.



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Friday, 10 February 2006 17:56:28 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 06 February 2006

The Super Bowl commercials are on the web at Google Video.

You can play them all back to back by clicking here. My favorites? Here they are:

 
 

 
 
 
 
 

 

  Bud Light
  Hidden Bud Light

 

And because you have to have the one that makes you turn your head and and say, "Whaaa???"

  Emerald Nuts

 



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Monday, 06 February 2006 00:52:32 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 04 February 2006

Rich points to a take-off video. I think you can guess what the storyline is. Heh. Amazing what kinds of funy stuff people can create on their computers these days. Try doing this ten years ago.

Brokeback to the Future

Click the title to watch.



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Saturday, 04 February 2006 21:51:30 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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Crusader_evangelist1Rory Blyth makes me laugh so hard, so often. Dude, Rory - you gotta stop... Heh...

In his post the other day, "DO NOT RESIST THE EVANGELIST," Rory warned that unless viewership of his Windows Mobile development screencasts (called TinyThings - and they're great - go here to see them) grew by ten fold, he threatened to eat a full bag of... Oh, here let him say it:

"If traffic to TinyThings does not increase by ten-fold during the next revolution of the planet Earth around its axis, I WILL EAT ONE ENTIRE BAG OF GOURMET LOW-FAT CHEEZEE-POOF SNACKS. IF THE LACK OF TRAFFIC CONTINUES, I WILL EAT ANOTHER BAG EVERY TIME THE EARTH COMPLETES A REVOLUTION"

But it gets worse - if the lack of ten-foldedness (?) continues, Rory will resort to letting a viscous microbe loose on a lone fluffy Ewok, unless... Oh here, just read:

"AND IT SHALL DO SO IF, BY THE TIME THIS PLANET HAS THRICE REVOLVED FULLY UPON ITS AXIS, TinyThings HAS NOT BEEN VISITED BY TEN MILLION NEW MOBILE SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS. AND YOU BETTER MAKE ‘EM ENTHUSIASTIC ‘CAUSE WE DON’T LIKE THOSE MOPEY ONES AROUND HERE."

Yeah, so ummmm - the first day results - well, go see the video:

I sure hope there's ten milllion visitors by day three....



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Saturday, 04 February 2006 08:54:30 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 03 February 2006

The Onion has some insight as to how Blackberry users will be forced to cope if the unfortunate shutdown actually ever occurs. As is fairly typical at the Onion, there's some truth behind the satire...

Infographic-BlackBerry



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Friday, 03 February 2006 06:56:22 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 29 January 2006

Ask-A-Ninja-CoverArtDude. You think Robert Hamburger's the bomb? (You're right if you do, by the way)

Well then you MUST check out the Ask a Ninja video podcast blog thingie.

"You've got questions. Ninja's got answers."

Go here, don't delay: http://askaninja.blogspot.com/

Hahah. Sweet, super sweet. You can also subscribe to the video podcast in iTunes.



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Sunday, 29 January 2006 00:04:11 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 28 January 2006

Southpark1I've been a South Park fan ever since it came out. Who woulda' thunk these cartoons would become such a phenomenon. I laugh my ass off every time I watch it.

I have to say that at $1.99 an episode, it's a bit pricey - maybe buying the DVD sets online (you can find some good deals if you look) might work better for some people. But for the convenience factor, and in terms of iTunes store's expansion into the video content arena, this is cool.

South Park on the iTunes Music Store - click here to open in iTunes

Comedy Central and Apple just added South Park, Drawn Together (never really watched that one) and Best of Comedy Central Standup to the iTunes store.



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Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:38:13 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 14 January 2006

I laughed out loud for some reasons when I read some of Trevin's comments from his trip to the Consumer Electronics Show earlier this month, where he listed a number of not-so-hot items from the super-mega-tradeshow of the gadget industry.

One of the more amusing categories in his post is "Wierdest celebrities coupling: Snoop Dogg and Donny Osmond."

XM had Snoop Dogg appear, then about 30 mins (later) they had Donny Osmond.  They had to have met at some point -- wtf did they talk about? 
 
Snoop Dogg: "Hey Don-dogg, what's the shizzle?"
Donny: "What?"
Snoop Dogg: "Fo sho"
Donny: "What?"
Snoop Dogg: "Peace out dogg"
Donny: "What?"
Heh!
 
Check out Trevin's "Oddest and Worst of CES 2006" list here, and be sure to also read his "Best of CES 2006" list. That way you'll be sure to walk away well-balanced.


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Saturday, 14 January 2006 15:41:00 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 13 January 2006

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Friday, 13 January 2006 21:54:22 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 12 January 2006

From CBC in Canada comes a hilarious video from Rick Mercer's show - The Mercer Report - demonstrating the latest in apparel for the Blackberry user. Should be mandated by OSHA in all high-tech office settings:

Check out the Blackberry Helmet Video at:

http://www.cbc.ca/mercerreport/videos/blackberry.wvx

(note - in non-USA style, there's some slightly-blurred-out nudity in this, so if you can't handle it, don't click - but hey, the video is funny)



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Thursday, 12 January 2006 23:34:57 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 07 January 2006

WTF1The beauty of this fancy new clothing line for the discerning sarcastic person is that those who understand what it says will laugh, while those who don't understand... Well - let's just say some things are perfectly self-defining.

I used to be a cop. I can't tell you the number of times the phonetic alphabet was used to contract colorful descriptions of situations, usually as a quick final status update on a radio call. Like "Tom-Ocean-Tom-David," which is short for Too Old To Drive using the non-military version of the phonetic alphabet. Probably more than you wanted to know, but you get the idea. The point is that there are some things you can't say out loud, and there are other things you can get away with. And hey, don't take any of this too seriously - there really are people who are too old to drive, after all, but it's all relative.

Anyhow...

Oh yeah, and when they say "there are no stupid questions," we all know what a huge lie that is. Hence these t-shirts.

So... For your dry humored, geeky enjoyment - the Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot shirts. Please wear appropriately. And remember the first rule of holding others accountable: Give them the ticket or give them the lecture, but never do both. Adding insult to injury is uncool. Analagize that and apply it to your own world. You'll go far. Whatever that means.

Ah, the t-shirts. Yeah. Click the images to go to the product pages:

Wtfshirt1  Wtfshirt2



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Saturday, 07 January 2006 13:46:32 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 05 December 2005

Always wondered who that dude was talking to...

"The Worst Job Ever"
(Windows Media video - contains strong language, etc etc)



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Monday, 05 December 2005 19:04:23 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 28 November 2005

Because some things are truly worth repeating each year, and because sometimes people do things that are just so damn wrong... Everyone should have their own copy of this Christmas music classic:



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Monday, 28 November 2005 19:40:19 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 19 November 2005

Jeremy Zawodny linked to the Warning Label Generator, where you can make fun warning labels (what else?) of your own creative design:

Warning Label Generator

Eh, forgive the creative wording. Hey, it's accurate.



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Saturday, 19 November 2005 17:46:17 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 27 October 2005

I've been using my X41 for a few months now, and overall I like it a lot. It's one of the better portable computers I've used.

Charles Jade over at Ars Technica has put together an "unreview" of the X41 and it's a fun read, not to mention an interesting evaluation of this specific Tablet PC computer, as well as a commentary on the Tablet PC edition of Windows, which he frequently refers to (in his somewhat sarcastic but also accurate fashion) as "WXPTPCE2005."

He finds both good and not so good things to write about. I liked the review. Read it here.



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Thursday, 27 October 2005 19:17:44 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 24 October 2005

"Microsoft: Connecting with the IT community for a pain-free future"

Did you know that 1% of bugs account for more than 60% of errors? As a result of the Windows XP error reporting dialog box, Microsoft has reduced crashes in the consumer products by as much as 80%. Leveraging this program, Microsoft formed WE-SYP, which stands for "We Share Your Pain," a direct feedback program that connects customers to the people responsible for programming the portion of code that creates your frustration.

Oh, if only it was true, hehehe... But the video (take off from TechNet) is hilarious, and the premise is great. View it here.

(from ActiveWin)



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Monday, 24 October 2005 19:03:35 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 23 October 2005

Unless, of course, you die today... In which case, you probably don't care much about this right now.

     Blogging-headstone

Hugh over at gapingvoid.com writes hilarious (and often poignant) cartoons on the backs of business cards. Come of them are decidedly off-color, granted - but they're worth looking at as long as you don't have easily offended sensitivities or something.

Oh and many of the designs are available as T-Shirts and BlogCards.



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Sunday, 23 October 2005 15:46:22 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 14 October 2005

Rich Claussen has the low-down on a new pact between Microsoft and the government of Nigeria to combat fraud:

Not well publicized is how this came to be. Unknown to most, Microsoft's Chief Software Architect, Bill Gates, received the following (condensed) email from the government of Nigeria soliciting his and his company's assistance.

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

Read more on Rich's blog here. Nice sense of humor there, man.

Seriously though - Read the news about the *actual* agreement (for real) between the company and the country here.



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Friday, 14 October 2005 20:14:01 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 12 October 2005

So negative you are. Lighten up you must.

So - Before you say Microsoft sucks one more time, just let yourself laugh at what some of its employees manage to come up with from time to time.

Case in point: YODA, the programming language

Matt Warren posted his idea to build a programming language in Yoda-like English (can't quite call it plain English, can you?).

From Matt's post:


 

Instead of the cryptic c-like syntax below:

 

 

public void Main(string[] args) {

   Console.WriteLine(“Hello World”);

}

 

 

We will now have eloquent YODA-like syntax:

 

 

(args of string many are they) Main is what they seek yet return they do not.

 

Brace you must

     Written it is, the Console. “Hello World”

 

 

I know it’s difficult to believe, as strange as it seems. Yet, sometime in the future, everyone will be writing software this way. Knowing this, it makes my work so much more invigorating. I can literally feel the electricity in the air around here. It’s like some queer energetic force.

 


Go read the comments. They're just as good.

And by the way, for the record it only takes a little looking around to find out that Matt Warren isn't 100% joker. His real job has had him working at Microsoft with a supremely talented team on LINQ, which is "a set of extensions to the .NET Framework that encompass language-integrated query, set, and transform operations. It extends C# and Visual Basic with native language syntax for queries and provides class libraries to take advantage of these capabilities." I barely understand that, but I know it lets me (well, more like those code artists around me) do some cool querying of data in XML file, relational databases, in-memory data stores, whatever - which is cool. It's kinda like SQL syntax in .NET, is what it looks like to me. Linq is short for "language-integrated query." Makes sense. It's all for the next versions of C# and VB.NET.

[via Philippe Cheng [who also taught me some mad new beginner programming skillz today], via analog data transfer by Matt Lapworth]



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Wednesday, 12 October 2005 20:31:06 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 28 September 2005

Ever wish you could hammer on one of those celebs that you love to hate so much? Are you one of those people (like me) who gets a little excited when you hear someone yell "Body blow! Body blow!" in a crowd?

Here ya go then: CELEBRITY PUNCH OUT!

  Celebrity Punch Out

Go for it. You know you want to.

  Cpout



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Wednesday, 28 September 2005 17:20:55 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 24 September 2005

Stuck on StupidEvery now and then some random person or event comes along that deserves memorialization. Such is the case with Lt. Gen. Russel Honore and his words this past week when confronted with a gaggle of reporters. Honore and others (including the Mayor of New Orleans, who was having a hard time with the media crowd) were at a press conference (called by the mayor) in order to immediately get out the important word about the government's plan to evacuate people from the city of New Orleans in the face of yet another hurricane - this time, it was Rita.

But some of the reporters at the press conference were apparently still stuck on Katrina. The General was there to make sure they clearly understood their role in the situation. There's a time and a place for everything, to be sure - and that means there's a time for the media to ask questions, and there are other times when the message needs to be immediate, clear and loud in order to save lives and ensure peoples' safety. Unfortunately, there are many in the media who are all about conflict, not about helping people (regardless of what they say their motivations are). It's makes the former journalist in me scream at the TV. I hate it.

So - Thank God for people like Lt. Gen. Russel Honore. Here's his words, an audio file and a partial video of the interaction between him and the media:

Audio Attachment: 0920honorestuckonstupid.mp3 (1685 KB)

Video Attachment: stuckonstupid2.wmv (2957 KB)

Gen. Honore: And Mr. Mayor, let's go back, because I can see right now, we're setting this up as he said, he said, we said. All right? We are not going to go, by order of the mayor and the governor, and open the convention center for people to come in. There are buses there. Is that clear to you? Buses parked. There are 4,000 troops there. People come, they get on a bus, they get on a truck, they move on. Is that clear? Is that clear to the public?

Reporter: Where do they move on --

Gen. Honore: That's not your business.

Reporter: But General, that didn't work the first time --

Gen. Honore: Wait a minute. It didn't work the first time. This ain't the first time. Okay? If...we don't control Rita, you understand? So there are a lot of pieces of it that's going to be worked out. You got good public servants working through it. Let's get a little trust here, because you're starting to act like this is your problem. You are carrying the message, okay? What we're going to do is have the buses staged. The initial place is at the convention center. We're not going to announce other places at this time, until we get a plan set, and we'll let people know where those locations are, through the government, and through public announcements. Right now, to handle the number of people that want to leave, we've got the capacity. You will come to the convention center. There are soldiers there from the 82nd Airborne, and from the Louisiana National Guard. People will be told to get on the bus, and we will take care of them. And where they go will be dependent on the capacity in this state. We've got our communications up. And we'll tell them where to go. And when they get there, they'll be able to get a chance, an opportunity to get registered, and so they can let their families know where they are. But don't start panic here. Okay? We've got a location. It is in the front of the convention center, and that's where we will use to migrate people from it, into the system.

Reporter: General Honore, we were told that Berman Stadium on the west bank would be another staging area --

Gen. Honore: Not to my knowledge. Again, the current place, I just told you one time, is the convention center. Once we complete the plan with the mayor, and is approved by the governor, then we'll start that in the next 12-24 hours. And we understand that there's a problem in getting communications out. That's where we need your help. But let's not confuse the questions with the answers. Buses at the convention center will move our citizens, for whom we have sworn that we will support and defend...and we'll move them on. Let's not get stuck on the last storm. You're asking last storm questions for people who are concerned about the future storm. Don't get stuck on stupid, reporters. We are moving forward. And don't confuse the people please. You are part of the public message. So help us get the message straight. And if you don't understand, maybe you'll confuse it to the people. That's why we like follow-up questions. But right now, it's the convention center, and move on.

Reporter: General, a little bit more about why that's happening this time, though, and did not have that last time --

Gen. Honore: You are stuck on stupid. I'm not going to answer that question. We are going to deal with Rita. This is public information that people are depending on the government to put out. This is the way we've got to do it. So please. I apologize to you, but let's talk about the future. Rita is happening. And right now, we need to get good, clean information out to the people that they can use. And we can have a conversation on the side about the past, in a couple of months.

Time to print some bumper stickers... "Don't get stuck on stupid." Heh. It's not a new phrase - more like old made new again. But it's great, and appropriate.

Update: The Stuck on Stupid Blog. Heh...

(via RadioBlogger and The Political Teen)



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Saturday, 24 September 2005 16:12:53 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 21 September 2005

Overheard on United Airlines flight 955 to San Diego (insert Will Farrell comment here) yesterday:

"For those of you on the left side of the aircraft, you have an unusually clear and spectacular view of the city of Los Angeles, Dodgers stadium, and the downtown LA area. For those of you on the right side of the plane, you have a great view of the backs of the heads of the people who are looking at Los Angeles out the left side of the aircraft..."

Heh...



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Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:04:19 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 01 September 2005

From an IM session about 30 seconds ago:

Mary Beth says:
could u imagine at school if u had that in your room.. u would be the coolest chic in the dorm..

Ummm, yeah... I hope not.



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Thursday, 01 September 2005 18:29:07 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 13 August 2005

We interrupt this IT/tech blog for the following random cult video interlude....

Flashbacks of Deliverance run through your mind. Be afraid.

This, my friends, has to be the greatest video ever on the Intarweb. I am so glad someone sent this:

Whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!

Ok, just kidding. Click it. No, really. Enjoy. Know a better one? Leave a comment.

Update: Apparently this video is a party promotion for a local (Portland, Oregon) media firm, Borders Perrin Norrander, Inc. Cool. Also, a lower bandwidth version is here: http://www.bpninc.com/evideo/video_mac_lo.mov



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Saturday, 13 August 2005 15:26:21 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 07 August 2005

"I admitted I was powerless over my hair loss, that my scalp had become unmanageable..."

Yep. I'm in the cult, too. I accept it. Not much I can do about it, really. So, for those of us in that situation, here's a unique product that can help simplify our lives:

BALDHAT_home

"The Coverup That's Got Nothing To Hide"
A perfect gift for directors, producers, band managers, aging performers, or anyone in the entertainment industry. Oh, and how about Father's Day?

Ok, so that's funny. And yes, they're actually for sale.

And for those of you lucky enough to keep your hair:

Hat_not_red_home

Good for you. Big deal.
But just so people don't assume you're covering up a deformity, I'm Not Bald
hats are also available.

(These hats were found via an AdSense ad that showed up on my web site... Coincidence, or has Google figured out something we don't know about? Hmmmm....)



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Sunday, 07 August 2005 03:36:02 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 30 July 2005

Seen this? It's The News Show. A bunch of quick off-beat daily tech/geek news items. It's interesting and sometimes funny. It's relatively short.

I could maybe watch this once a day, but the f5 ads might convince me to spend money.

   News-Show  

But I'll be damned if I can find the RSS feed (and my magical to-remain-unnamed RSS-savvy browser doesn't "see" one on the page either...) No RSS feed???

Oh well... Check it out anyhow.



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Saturday, 30 July 2005 20:15:25 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 14 July 2005

System Administrator SongChris points out a funny song that describes with uncanny accuracy that which is the SysAdmin. Check out The System Administrator Song, at Three Dead Trolls (cool site by the way). Several video formats are available as well as an MP3 file.

You probably know these guys from their "Welcome to the Internet Help Desk" skit. Wow, Wes has really grown his hair out, eh?

Next time you cuss your system administrator, stop and listen to this song or watch the video. Be nice, and they will too. Heh.

You'll likely laugh. And no drinking soda while you watch - or you'll be sorry.

Click here to watch.



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Thursday, 14 July 2005 14:28:37 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 06 July 2005

WHAT YOU SAY???

Zero Wing meets Star Wars in the English translation of the Chinese translation of the English version of Revenge of the Sith, a.k.a. "Backstroke of the West."

Click here for full details and a bunch of laughs. It gets fairly colorful.

Sw15

Swb36ty

Swb84iu

[via Rory]



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Wednesday, 06 July 2005 20:54:51 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 25 June 2005

Uh oh – GoogleFight is something I’d already forgotten about, somehow… http://www.googlefight.com

Someone make it stop. Three of us are here are running battles to see who wins, Greg Hughes or Brandon Watts? Matt Hartley or Brandon Watts? (by the way, Matt’s blog here and Brandon’s blog here) Hmmm…

More fights:

Heh…



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Saturday, 25 June 2005 15:04:56 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 09 June 2005

For those with a tastefully colorful sense of humor, here's some tech news. It looks like a new MP3 player in the shape of a toy bear has been released...

Bear01

Controls are located on the little blue arms and on its head, but(t) what's the best thing about it? To sync with your PC, you just hook up to it's USB rectum:

Bear02

Nice. Classic. Sure makes ya wonder, though. What were they thinking? Heh.

(via the Raw Feed)



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Thursday, 09 June 2005 22:39:45 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 03 June 2005

From The Raw Feed - Apparently they've finally found a way to completely eliminate the Blue Screen of Death in Windows Longhorn:

Make it red.

Red

Now, why didn't someone think of that earlier?



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Friday, 03 June 2005 15:58:40 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 22 May 2005

Hahahah, okay as long as we're at it, this is a pretty funny flash short film, from the Organic Trade Association:

Storewars

(Note - I saw the real movie tonight and it was pretty okay I thought... Rory's review is pretty close to what I thought, although I guess my expectations weren't quite as high as his, and I enjoyed it despite the weaknesses.)



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Saturday, 21 May 2005 23:29:48 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 21 May 2005

Challenge Darth Vader to 20-questions in "The Sith Sense" and watch him read your mind:

Vader3

The force is strong with this one. Of course, he's got some help...

Vader2

Burger King's at it again - well done.

(thanks Chris)



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Saturday, 21 May 2005 22:56:49 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 16 May 2005

Ever have a hard time finding well-qualified software development staff? Looking for a different king of outsourcing firm?

Jeremy points to the solution to all your problems: Primate Programming, Inc.

Primate Programming Inc: The Evolution of Java and .NET Training

An interesting approach to a common business model. Cool idea.



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Monday, 16 May 2005 22:40:23 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 27 April 2005

Classic funny moment - I've been victim of the Slashdot effect (lots of referral traffic) a couple of times in the past. A friend pointed this out to me just a minute or two ago. Looks like Slashdot's got a little hair of the dog that bit 'em problem? What comes around... Heh...

Sladoteffect

Thanks, Dave.



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Wednesday, 27 April 2005 20:41:04 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 19 April 2005

This is great: How to Destroy the Earth. Sam Hughes (no relation) does an excellent job of outlining any of a variety of ways to bring this planet to it's end. And he clearly has a lot of time on his hands.

Preamble

Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.

You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth was built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you've had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I (Sam Hughes) can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.

Read the whole thing here.

(via Jeremy's linkblog)



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Tuesday, 19 April 2005 11:48:49 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 17 April 2005

Seth Godin points to a photoshop contest gallery with some pretty funny images by some talented photoshoppers. The contest challenged people to depict corporate logos everywhere:

Contest Directions
Everywhere you turn there is another Starbucks, McDonalds or GAP popping up whether it's the logo, store or actual ad you see. In this contest you're going to take corporate takeovers of society to the extreme. Put ads, logos and/or stores in the most unexpected areas you can think of (i.e. the Sphinx in Egypt wearing RayBan sunglasses, or a Taj Mahal McDonalds).

The rules of this game are thus: Depict the world completely overrun by logos, advertisements and stores in the most unexpected places. As always, quality is a must. We will remove poor entries no matter how much we like you. You'll have 48 hours to submit for this contest, so make your submissions count.

And the participants came up with some cool - and occasionally subtle - stuff:

Arches_mc

Nike_gir

Coke_moon

View the whole gallery here.



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Sunday, 17 April 2005 11:43:27 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 12 April 2005

TechEdVideo4splashScott and Rory's pre-TechEd video series continues:

"In the fourth and final installment of our 'Those are some really weird TechEd Videos Collection (coming soon in DVD, not)' Rory and I learn the meaning of community as we sleep through the TechEd Keynote Address."

Yyyyyyyyyyyyup!

Ummmm.... Uhhh... Yeah... Not really sure what to make of this one, but Rory's right about baby carrots. Anyhow, view it here.



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Tuesday, 12 April 2005 22:47:55 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 06 April 2005

Paul Bausch asks:

Has anyone put rel="nofollow" on the back of a t-shirt yet?

Well, yeah. Sure. And now it's even spelled correctly. Click if ya want one.

nofollow
(corrected the lingo, changed the shirt, oops!)



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Wednesday, 06 April 2005 21:34:39 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 30 March 2005

Once You Know, You Newegg Are you a GTA game fan? Into Legos (like someone I know)?

Then this is for you.

Check out Grand Theft Auto - Lego City.

Yeah - it's a Lego-people version of the GTA Vice City trailer...


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Wednesday, 30 March 2005 22:10:35 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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In the latest chapter of what is apparently turning out to be an ongoing video saga that somehow has something to do with the upcoming TechEd conference in June, Scott and Rory drink the Microsoft KoolAid.

Click on over to see the latest video. Funny. Weird. But hey, it's Rory and Scott, whatcha expect?



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Wednesday, 30 March 2005 17:28:56 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 29 March 2005

Ninja_bookA friend introduced me to a book recently, and after reading though it I went right out and got my own copy. Actually I bought three, so I would have two to give as gifts. It's called REAL Ultimate Power - The Official Ninja Book, and it's hilarious.

Says "author" Robert Hamburger:

"Hi, this book is all about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This book is awesome. My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet."

From random ninja fantasies to ninja dreams to term papers written both on and off Ritalin, it's a completely random and funny book to read.

From the intro to the book:

Dear Everybody,

This is my last will and testimony. If you find this book, then you should consider me dead meat. I have left the neighborhood, because I am a true live ninja and I have a destiny - total sweetness. You probably don't understand what that is, because you're an idiot. Everybody I know doesn't understand the complete sweetness of ninjas and it hurts me - you hurt me. But don't get me wrong - I don't want your heads to explode. I forgive you, but I just deserve something cooler.

You can have all my stuff: my shirt, my beach towel, and that bowl. I don't care. But most importantly, I leave you this book so maybe, just maybe, you can understand the way of the ninja - REAL Ultimate Power.

Farewell dummies,
Robert Hamburger

Highly recommended for those who like to flip out and long for total sweetness. Seriously, it's the best $8.96 I've spent in a long time, just for the laughs. Oh and don't forget the web site.

(And by the way, there's colorful language in both the book and the site, so don't go there if you don't like that kind of stuff)



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Tuesday, 29 March 2005 18:32:19 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 25 March 2005

Many in America complain about how much their school systems stink. Yeah, well - it turns out that over in Melbourne, Australia they've got one up on all us Yanks:

     Dookie

Great name, and such a great opportunity for toilet humor.



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Friday, 25 March 2005 20:00:23 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 24 March 2005

In the random fun, complete waste of time department (you know you want to, come one, go ahead, click already):

Eggblog

Click click click.

Your entertainment options?

(via Scoble)



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Thursday, 24 March 2005 07:16:19 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 22 March 2005

In a series of semi-serious articles called "Managing Programmers for CEOs," management types (like me) and executive types (not me) can learn such valuable things as how to decipher the secret code programmers use in day-to-day conversation. For example, here are a few phrases taken from the first part of the series, "Decompiling Programmer-Speak."

(The information contained in these articles is valuable, but the humor is there and you can't help but laugh at parts. By the way, I think developers and development managers are great - I only laugh because I find a lot of it humorous in a nice way.)

“It’ll be done ASAP.”
Translation: There is no schedule yet.

“That feature shouldn’t add any time to the schedule.”
Translation:  There is no schedule yet.

“It’s fifty percent done.”
Translation: It hasn’t been started yet.

Also included in the series are a couple of other good articles, each containing good information and ideas, with some humor thrown in here and there:

  • Part Two - The Meaning of Done, and How You'll Know When You Get There (Good info about schedules, missing them and what that means to everyone)
  • Part Three - Features Kill Projects (How can you be "done" if the meaning of "done" keeps changing?)

As is often the case, be sure to read the comments on each article page - in the case of these three articles, the comments are well worth the read, as well.



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Tuesday, 22 March 2005 21:34:36 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 16 March 2005

Videosplash2Out of the toilet and into the conference room, the video saga of Rory and Scott's lead-up to TechEd continues.

Rory and Scott - Two really high speed programmers...

Thank God for WS-PPT

Enjoy.



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Wednesday, 16 March 2005 16:06:03 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 12 March 2005

TPSfilmOk, more and more funny. Take one part Superfriends and one part Office Space, and you end up with the hilarious TPS (This Place Sucks). Very, verry funny to watch. I love the use of the Superfriends sound effects, that's great.

If you're a fan of Superfriends, or Office Space, or both - this is for you.

It comes from idiotwork - check them out as well. More funny content can be found there.



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Saturday, 12 March 2005 10:38:47 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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Found via UtterlyBoring: The Church Sign Generator

That explains a lot.



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Saturday, 12 March 2005 08:37:47 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 11 March 2005

Videosplash1Okay, this has to be one of the funniest damn things I have seen in a while on a weblog. Geek humor in the toilet. Literally.

Rory and Scott are in a video, a sort of a pre-TechEd thing. And it's freakin' great. Expect more in the future, too.

You have to go watch it.

Like, go watch it right now.



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Friday, 11 March 2005 19:40:03 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 07 March 2005

I'm always up for a good laugh, and today a coworker showed me a fun web site called Atom Smasher's Error Message Generator, where you can generate visual renditions of your own twisted Windows error messages.

Get a little creative with this stuff and you'll quickly find yourself participating in email threads with friends, trying to best each other in the geek-humor department.



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Monday, 07 March 2005 23:29:37 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 05 March 2005

Gaping Void has some pretty darn funny (and yes, somewhat racy at times) cartoons. Business card cartoons. Funny. You. Click. Read.



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Saturday, 05 March 2005 12:43:54 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 20 February 2005

Jon Stewart - comedy non-news guy - and team take a funny look at blogs, the blogosphere, blogging, journalism and government. You don't have to agree with his political positions to get the humor on his show, for sure.

It's hillarious.

Stephen Colbert, a.k.a. Ted Hitler, on Bloggers:

"They have no credibility. All they have is facts. Spare me."

Heh...

View the video segment here.
(Note: Some content probably not very good for kids.)



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Sunday, 20 February 2005 13:11:15 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 14 February 2005

Valentine

(from some random web forum, via Tim)



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Monday, 14 February 2005 19:49:41 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 04 February 2005

A year ago, I posted a blog entry about a family that had just named their child "John Blake Kusak 2.0."

Now, one year later, weird headlines tells the tale of another family and their just-turned-one-year-old son, "Jake Matthew Thompson Two Point Zero." Apparently some companies are having a hard time getting the kid's name right. Go figure.

Argh. Something scary when parents call their kids "upgrades."

Someone check in with these kids when they turn 18, and see how well/badly things turned out.



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Friday, 04 February 2005 10:26:10 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 02 February 2005

Because great things come from the people, Rory has started a new project and invited the whole world in. It's called NeoWikiDiki... Anyone can participate. That means you.

"This is a wiki based dictionary that sucks. It sucks because none of us know what in the hell we're doing or talking about, but we're all contributing to this big thing at the same time.

"Some of us will use spell checkers. Others won't.

"Some of us will ensure correct definitions based on others stolen from existing and reputable references. Others won't.

"Some of us will only edit definitions in the nude. Others won't.

"Others will come here to actually look words up.

"These people... These people, we will call 'victims.'"



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Wednesday, 02 February 2005 20:17:38 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 27 January 2005

Weatherman1"Louis is here with the weather..."

The painful, awful, terrible weather.

"Maybe Louis, you can tell us what we can expect for the rest of the week..."

If you're ever having one of those days where you feel like the clumsiest person on the face of the planet, just click the link above, and find comfort in the fact that someone, somewhere has almost certainly had a harder day than you.

(I recall my time in journalism school, which is almost certainly where this tape came from, and it could be brutal at times. Broadcast news performance is an art, and artists are few and far between).



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Thursday, 27 January 2005 22:00:47 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 21 January 2005

Now on eBay - You can bid to purchase absolutely nothing. Bidding started at £1.00 and is now (at the time of this post) up to £1,000,100.00, which means if the bidding progresses at a constant rate until the auction closes is 8 days, 18 hours, the closing price will be something like, ohhhh maybe £9,000,100.00... What a bargain!

From the auction listing:


This is a fantastic, once in a lifetime opportunity to buy absolutely nothing! The successful bidder will receive absolutely nothing direct from me.

  • The perfect gift for the person who has everything.
  • Takes up no space. Easy to store.
  • Helps fight capitalism. Possibly.
  • No postage required.
  • Environmentally friendly, 100% organic and edible.

(Note. It is not recommended that you eat absolutely nothing for prolonged periods.)

 Bid now on this once in a lifetime opportunity!

Please note. This is a genuine auction, and the successful bidder will receive absolutely nothing.


Also note the Photo of Absolutely Nothing at http://www.fotothing.com/dom/photo/ea67a03a320c1f80a5a3ca95dd975952/

Wow. I'm in!



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Friday, 21 January 2005 21:39:39 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 18 January 2005

The Jib Jab crew has been hard at work again - and here's their most recent funny film:

JibjibinnaugCheck out "Second Term" from the creators of "Good to be in D.C." and "This Land." This latest cartoon pokes fun at President Bush, conservatives, liberals, and just about anyone else vying for political power.

5.8MB of fun and jest. Gotta love those Jib Jab guys. It's humorous - maybe not as funny as some of their past videos, but a good one.

Note that when you get to the end and the credits appear on the screen, some of the names in the credits are links to each person's web site - an interesting and fun diversion.



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Tuesday, 18 January 2005 23:08:21 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 17 January 2005

Redneck_yard_headerBlue Collar TV is hilarious - it's a great show on Comedy Central.

They have a new feature that you can participate in: Redneck Yard of the Week.

Know someone with 15 cars in their yard? Wanna get back at them or need a good way to give a friend a hard time? Grab your camera and start shootin', and send it in. Put' em on the TV.

Here ya go: http://www.redneckyard.com/

Enjoy.



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Monday, 17 January 2005 21:33:15 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 16 January 2005

Ok, so I can't help but post this one...

Every now and then you see Flash movies and apps that are actually worth the effort put into them. You also see a lot of useless junk. And then you have those occasional truly awesome little uses of the technology - the ones where you know Macromedia just stands back and says, "Now that's why we spent zilions of dollars on the product."

Now, if you're like really easily offended, stop reading and just go somewhere else for a while. You probably shouldn't be in the Internet anyhow. But I mean, what the heck, ya gotta admit this is kinda cool - even cooler if you have a Tablet PC, but still lots-o-fun if you don't. Now, this really is intended for the guys out there, so... uhh, never mind.

Anyhow, already: Go write your name in the snow. Yeah, I mean that way. You know you want to. And all from the warmth of your home or office. Wow. So go do it.

Pee_name

(via Jeremy Zawodny, who calls it Calligrapee)



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Sunday, 16 January 2005 08:59:39 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 12 January 2005

Gizmodo has posted a tutorial showing impatient iPod owners how to make their existing iPods into an iPod Shuffle. With the new Mac mini announcement, we know a bunch of you will be wanting to reuse existing equipment, so why buy a new iPod Shuffle (or wait for it to ship) when you can have one today?

Pictures available at Gizmodo

(thanks to Travis, who also pointed out these funny links)



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Wednesday, 12 January 2005 10:27:39 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 05 January 2005
Okay, I will make one prediction for 2005. Why not, it’s all the rage, ya know:

PREDICTION:  Robert Scoble will go broke before February 1, 2005.

Why? Because at $5 a pop, it’s going to get awful expensive! Great cause, though.



greghughes.net weblog


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Wednesday, 05 January 2005 22:39:10 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 02 January 2005

The 2005 List of Banished Words has been released.

Sadly/Happily (depending on your personal opinion/position), among the words formally banished this year by Lake Superior State University is “Blog.” LSSU’s 30th annual list describes the term and its reasons for banishment as folows:

BLOG – and its variations, including blogger, blogged, blogging, blogosphere. Many who nominated it were unsure of the meaning. Sounds like something your mother would slap you for saying.

  • “Sounds like a Viking’s drink that’s better than grog, or a technique to kill a frog.” Teri Vaughn, Anaheim, Calif.
  • “Maybe it’s something that would be stuck in my toilet.” – Adrian Whittaker, Dundalk, Ontario.
  • “I think the words ‘journal’ and ‘diary’ need to come back.” – T. J. Allen, Shreveport, La.

Also banned – and I have to agree with this one, it just bugs the crap outa me every time I hear it – is “Webinar,” which is described on the list this way:

WEBINAR – for ‘seminar on the web.’

  • “It’s silly. Next we’ll have a Dutch ‘dunch’ … bring your own lunch for a digital lunch meeting.” – Karen Nolan, Charlotte, NC.

AMEN Karen! But better watch out what you say in public, someone will hear it and the next thing you know, instant mareting-speak… Dutch dunch. Heh…

LSSU has been compiling the list since 1976, choosing from nominations sent from around the world. This year, words and phrases were pulled from more than 2,000 nominations. Most were sent through the school’s website: www.lssu.edu/banished. LSSU accepts nominations for the List of Banished Words throughout the year. To submit your nomination for the 2006 list, go to www.lssu.edu/banished.

(found via Doc Searls, Über blogger extraorinaire)



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Sunday, 02 January 2005 02:30:06 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 26 December 2004

NobodyHere.com is, without a doubt, one of the more interestingly funny and random sites I have seen in some time. It kept me clicking around for some time…

http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/me.here



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Sunday, 26 December 2004 14:05:06 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 22 December 2004

Not the same way one New Hampshire UPS truck driver does. I bet his last name is Murphy – It almost has to be.

CLICK HERE for the story...



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Wednesday, 22 December 2004 00:04:44 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 17 December 2004

Santa’s having a rough year. Go go JibJab. Niiice. :-)

Be sure to click on the link to send toys to kids in Iraq. It’s time to give a little.

Update: By way of Sean Alexander, It’s a Wonderful Life, in 30 seconds, performed by bunnies. Uh, yeah. Enjoy.



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Friday, 17 December 2004 15:58:23 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 09 December 2004

Coudal.com has perhaps the most useful PDF file of the year available to download…

Do you ever get tired of those idiot people who suck up all the ambient quiet while talking on their cell phones about things that they – well – should probably just keep quiet?

Take action now:

“After reading a story in the NYT, Jim's wife Heidi decided that maybe there was a way to fight back against the obnoxious cell phone users that we all have to deal with in stores, restaurants, trains and pretty much everywhere else. Can design ride to the rescue? Jim and the incomparable Aaron Draplin think it can. So, as a public service, we introduce the reasonably polite SHHH, the Society for HandHeld Hushing.”

Download this PDF, get out your exacto knife or scissors, and start fighting back (NOTE: The PDF contains a few choice profanities, so if you’re easilly offended, don’t click).

(via Engadget)



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Thursday, 09 December 2004 14:49:13 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 30 November 2004

Seen the Subservient Chicken before?

Well, now Robert Gale links to The Subservient Stickman:

‘Nuf said…

(via Scoble’s linkblog)



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Tuesday, 30 November 2004 23:28:01 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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Are you one of those “project management often causes more problems than it solves” kind of people?

Well, I don’t really want to repost it here, so click this link to go to Ian White’s blog and enjoy a sarcastic laugh.

And no, I don’t think ill of project managers at all, but I did laugh out loud at what Ian posted…



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Tuesday, 30 November 2004 20:41:35 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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I recently moved offices, and I was just talking to a co-worker of mine, Phil Weber. At his desk (which is by my new digs) he has a sealed package with a posable action figure and accessories in it that I had never seen before.

It's called GEEKMAN.

Now this is really something else... I had GI-Joes and some action figures from TV shows like Adam 12 and Emergency when I was a kid, but never would I have guessed - even in today's world - that a geek action figure would appear.

Geek and action in the same word... Well - you get the point.

But sure enough, it exists. Want one? They sell them at ThinkGeek, and there's even a web site for the action figure - how's that for complete?

It'll probably end up being a collector, just wait. Sheez!



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Tuesday, 30 November 2004 18:29:59 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 12 November 2004

Ok, this is freakin' hilarious... If you're easily offended by things like fart jokes, click here and stop reading now. If you have a sense of humor that includes laughing at bathroom noises (in other words if you are like 95% of the people in the world), read on. This information is really about technology, not bathrooms or poop. Uh, yeah.

RoboDump is a robot. Sort of. And it poops. Sort of. Forever. A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds.

I snuck RoboDump into the men's room at the office. Unfortunately, today turned out to be the day of a board meeting. Whoops! It still went over well; the office was abuzz all morning with gossip about the guy in the bathroom. Several people theorized it was the CFO. The janitor commented to someone in the hallway that he wanted to clean the restroom but "this guy's been in there all morning."

I also decided to dress it in businessware to make coworkers less likely to try to talk to it... if it looks like a customer or visiting bigwig, they'll be less likely to offer help or ask for a courtesy flush.

Pictures and an audio sample are available at the web site, and you can comment at the blog... I can't help but laugh at this one... Hahahah...

The work that went into this marvel of electronic wonder was pretty extensive, and let me tell ya - I want one.

(found via singlenesia.com)



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Friday, 12 November 2004 23:13:17 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 04 November 2004

Worth reading (as always):

Charlie has written a rather funny story over at the Indoor Camping blog. Usually it's Jill who's the author of the blog, and her prose is always hilarious (hence she's permanently linked in the side bar here), but her husband Charlie gets today's words in:

"From then on, I was on a quest.  I sat there and looked at every woman who came in the store.  Specifically, I watched their butts.  I stared at all the mid-thirties Mom butts shopping and walking.  The clerk was right.  I’m so used to my own wife’s butt that everyone else’s looked huge.  They were well-dressed but their butts were way out of whack."

Hahahah... Cool man. I love blogs, and especially this one. So go read.



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Thursday, 04 November 2004 20:33:41 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 15 October 2004

Careful what you say to your girlfriend, it might back-fire on ya. :-)


.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Friday, October 15, 2004                            |
| Participants:                                                      |
|    Greg Hughes
                                                     |
|   
Dave                                   
                        |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[01:06:01 AM]
Dave
: man im mean, girlfriend is having trouble
              with her pc, and i tell her its an id10t error and that
              they are quite common and shes like Oh no can you fix
              it?
[01:06:10 AM] Greg Hughes: hahahahah
[01:06:16 AM] Greg Hughes: heh
[01:06:42 AM]
Dave: i thought she knew what it ment

[01:10:47 AM]
Dave: havent the heart to tell her now
[01:12:54 AM] Greg Hughes: hehehe just dont let her read my blog :)


Don't worry, Dave - I'm sure she won't be reading this, so you're safe!



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Friday, 15 October 2004 00:11:38 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 08 October 2004

Chris apparently really needs something to do - but it's good for us when he's having a slow day - this is freakin' hilarious...



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Friday, 08 October 2004 14:45:40 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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JibJab has reached prime-time with “It's Good to Be in DC.” 

I heard excerpts from this on the radio earlier today, and then it was shown on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno later this evening.

Between JibJab and Jon Stewart, it's been an amusing political process. JibJab's This Land cartoon raised eyebrows and even a lawsuit (in which JibJab came out the victor). When I think what it would be like without at least some form of levity, it's a rather depressing thought.

But all joking aside - regardless of your political position or persuasion, VOTE THIS YEAR!!! VOTE!



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Thursday, 07 October 2004 23:01:28 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 22 September 2004

I don't usually link to this kind of stuff here (simply don't click if you're offended way too easily), but this is great:

There's something about this that just doesn't smell quite right...



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Wednesday, 22 September 2004 18:48:20 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 19 September 2004

"You are unknown to me.
Your camera's memory card was in a taxi; I have it now.
I am going to post one of your pictures each day.
I will also narrate as if I were you.
Maybe you will come here and reclaim this piece of your life."

This is (Ooops... better make that “was”) one of the more interesting/strange blogs I have seen in some time. The author found a digital camera card in a taxi, thought of an idea, and the rest is (ongoing and made-up) history. The blog, "I Found Some of Your Life," merges the real-world with a made-up one. If a picture is worth a thousand words, this site compensates for the pictures with it's fictional guess-at-a-story commentary. You should start with the introduction entry and then work your way though the chronology, to get the full effect.

I can't wait til the owner discovers there's a web site with his pictures on it. That should be very interesting. (EDIT: Not sure exactly what happened, but apparently someone got wind and was not too happy)

From the introduction entry describing the blog and how it got started:

In my possession is one (1) memory card from a digital camera. This memory card was found in a taxi in New York City. I have no idea who the owner of the camera is.

The pictures on the memory card were taken over the course of exactly one (1) year in this person's life, starting July Twenty-Fifth, Two Thousand and Three (07-25-03) and ending July Twenty-Fourth, Two Thousand and Four (07-24-04).

I am going to post one (1) picture here each day. As there are two hundred and twenty-seven (227) pictures, there will be two hundred and twenty-seven (227) posts. The pictures will appear in chronological order according to the timestamp accompanying each image.

As the images add up, I will attempt to assemble an identity for this unknown person. Each day's new picture will be a fresh addition to this photographic life-documentation. Only with the unveiling of the final picture (the two hundred and twenty-seventh (227th)) will we finally have a full understanding of this person's life over the past year - at least as far as these pictures will allow us to infer.

Further, in an attempt to present this pictorial information in a more personal manner, and also to better allow for some artistic license, I am going to pretend that I am the owner of the camera. I'll call me Jordan, because that's the name on my birthday cake (you'll see).

Enjoy.



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Sunday, 19 September 2004 08:17:52 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 26 August 2004

Wow. This is different[QuickTime MOV]

Ever wonder what your purpose in life is? Apparently, so does that little lawn bomb your dog left in the yard:

"Once upon a time, a little doggy poo lived on the side of a road. He felt all alone in the world. He believed that nobody needed him for anything, and that he had no purpose in life. If only Doggy Poo had a reason for being, then he wouldn't give up on his dream to be useful to the world.

"One day, Doggy Poo meets a lovely dandelion sprout. Will she explain his purpose in life? Will she help make his dream come true?"

You ever get the feeling maybe someone is stretching the premise just a little too thin? Well, anyhow if you're into this kind of shi... uhh I mean stuff, go buy the DVD or book or soundtrack. Enjoy.



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Thursday, 26 August 2004 21:06:50 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 27 July 2004

The Firefox web browser has received a lot of attention recently, with a rash of issues and related publicity in the Internet Explorer area causing people to look for alternatives.

Someone has put together a friendly jab at the Firefox browser, in this parody that I thought was pretty darn funny - Firedfox.

For those too lazy to look and wanting to see the real thing, you can go here. It's a nice browser.



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Tuesday, 27 July 2004 17:10:47 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 18 July 2004

I don't post about polittics here for the most part, but if I see something that that makes me laugh, it's fair game for blodge-chunking (I'll explain that term some other time).

Download: This Land is Your Land

If you don't laugh, there's something wrong with you.




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Sunday, 18 July 2004 07:44:47 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 11 July 2004

Pascal Belaud and family just has their second child, and made a very creative announcement:

I laughed - and had to share.



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Sunday, 11 July 2004 13:29:50 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 09 July 2004

Every now and then you find something on the Internet that simply captures your attention. You're not sure why, it just does...

WINDOWS SYMPHONY - Made entirely of Windows default sound effects.  Its pretty cool, actually!

(by way of Jeff Basham at http://airdispatcher.lockergnome.net/)



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Friday, 09 July 2004 22:45:07 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 08 July 2004

I posted an entry a month ago about Sprint PCS' new advertisements for wireless service. Since then, I've been inundated with searches for "macaroni minutes" every time I see that ad on TV. These days I can pretty much predict when the commercial has just aired based on when the search referrals start to stack up all of a sudden. It's one of several funny, well-done commercials that poke fun at wireless carriers that charge overage fees and have complicated service plans:

  • Red ball: School children are told that they may play with new red balls, provided they estimate how many minutes they will use the balls during the next two years.
  • Soccer: A student is called off the field and informed that he can’t play anymore this month because he’s used up his minutes.
  • Dinosaur: A class is allowed to watch a video only if one of the students can figure out the complexities of a VCR.
  • The New Kid: A new arrivee in an art class is given much better supplies than the other students have.
  • Macaroni: A student is told that he “is over” on his macaroni minutes and must pay the school $49 immediately.

Some trivia about the ads: They were filmed at Brentwood Christian School in Austin, Texas, and the kids in the ads are actual students there. They were compensated a whole $1500 for their talent, plus they'll get a residual payment for each and every time the commercials air.



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Thursday, 08 July 2004 22:19:42 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 28 June 2004

I like music a lot, play some guitar, and will occasionally sing along, but I have never been a big fan of Karaoke. However, William Bragg posted something on his blog that I think I may just have to check out, just so I can see for myself (and so I can say I did it).

Klingon Karaoke.

Uh... Wow... And yes, it's for real.

Willamette Week says:

"Dry-ice fog streams onto the dance floor, setting the scene for tonight’s No. 1 singer. Outfitted in a long black wig, a rumpled prosthetic forehead with bushy eyebrows, and full Klingon evening wear, Qaolin crashes onto the dance floor and belts out a song that sounds like “Cherokee Nation.” Only it’s sung completely in the growl and violence of Klingon. It’s Klingon Karaoke night at the Bodacious Classics Restaurant and Intergalactic Refueling Station in Southeast Portland."

How can you know about this and not check it out? Anyone care to join me on a Thursday night sometime soon? I mean, how can you possibly go wrong? I wonder if they'll let cameras in. Hah.



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Monday, 28 June 2004 20:11:28 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 11 June 2004

Sprint PCS has a new set of TV commercials out making fun of the run-around method of mobile phone billing. Obviously, the practice of micro-billing applies to other industries, as well, but I'm not bringing this up to rant about billing practices.

I'm mentioning this because these are some of the funniest and most effective commercials I've seen in a while.

Oh, Ben! Wow... You know that you went over your Macaroni minutes last month?

Heh. I laugh every time I see these ads. The look on that kid's face cracks me up. Someone at Sprint PCS needs to take a victory bow - good job. Effective and memorable advertising.

Oh, and the rate plan idea they're advertising - changing your plan month-to-month to give you the best plan based on your actual usage - is a cool idea, too. Hey AT&T Wireless - pay attention! :-P



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Friday, 11 June 2004 19:56:21 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 04 June 2004

My boss, Chris, posted a web-log entry that had me laughing out loud, so I thought I'd share. Check his site for “Thank you for calling the United States Army,” the official (not) voice mail message of the US Army.

    • If your crisis is small, and close to the sea, press 1 for the United States Marine Corps.
    • If your concern is distant, with a temperate climate and good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low risk, high altitude bombing runs, please press 2 for the United States Air Force.  Please note this service is not available after 1630 hours, or on weekends.

Read the whole thing here.



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Friday, 04 June 2004 19:48:44 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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I've been installing and testing builds of Windows XP SP2 for a while now, and while I should and will not go into any real detail about that here, let's just say I had a need to use a command-line switch on the installer for the latest version yesterday, but it didn't quite do what I needed/expected.

I mentioned that fact to my friend Travis, who came up with some ideas for command line switches that he says should be applied to all products.



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Friday, 04 June 2004 14:12:55 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 03 June 2004

< Cue cheesy commercial music >

This dad did it on eBay.
(PDF available for when the original exprires).

I had to laugh at this one when I saw it, but at the same time I was rooting this guy on and mentally wishing him the best from afar. I know this dad is dealing with something serious.

“SO CHILDREN LISTEN UP DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR PARENTS YOUR FRIENDS OR YOURSELF BECAUSE US PARENTS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU AND WE WILL FIND OUT ABOUT ANY AND ALL THINGS YOU TRY TO HIDE.”

Heheh... He's certainly being creative and making what sounds like a serious point. At least one father out there who's willing to punish his 13-year-old son for misbehavior that matters (a lot) in the kid's present and future life. Hopefully this is just the beginning of the additional parental attention for that kid.

Father's Day season doesn't always need to be happy - it does needs to be real.

Thanks to Dave for the link.



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Thursday, 03 June 2004 07:34:27 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 28 May 2004

Jon Stewart is pretty darn funny. Read his commencement address that he gave a few days ago at William & Mary College, where he was a student back in the 80's. As always, he's both funny and makes you stop and think. And then, right when he's got you in serious mode, he slaps ya down with another joke.

“Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I ... I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it.”

Classic.



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Friday, 28 May 2004 20:13:21 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 18 May 2004

By way of UtterlyBoring.com:

Because we have a moral duty to protect the ignorant people, please let your friends and family know about this important product recall:

Name of product: Martha Stewart Everyday® Safety Matches
Units: 588 boxes
Distributor: Kmart Corp., of Troy, Mich.
Hazard: These matches may ignite upon impact, posing a fire hazard to consumers.

Uhhhhhh - yeah??? And the problem is??? I thought everyone knew if you dropped a box of matches enough times, it will eventually catch on fire... I'm sure there's some clever Martha Stewart joke in this somewhere, too, but I'll just let you think of it.



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Tuesday, 18 May 2004 15:24:58 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 16 May 2004

(OT comment fodder: What's the main difference between Superman and every other good-guy super hero?)

On TV you only get 30 or 60 seconds. On the web you get as much time as you can get people to give you - they call then “webisodes.”

American Express teamed up Jerry Seinfeld and Superman. If you have a few minutes, it's pretty amusing and fun. Seinfeld's not Batman, or The Flash, and he's not going to team up with The Man of Steel to save the world. But they might sell some credit cards, and I laughed.

NOTE: American Express has removed the content from their servers, but you can still see the webisodes over at Unplugged Studios, the creators of the Jerry and Superman films. It's a little tricky now because their site is Flash-based, so here are my convoluted navigation directions:

  • Go to http://www.unpluggedstudio.com/
  • Enter their flash site
  • Look at the bottom for the American Express link.
  • Click on that link and use the menu on the right to choose the "Watch" options. From there you can watch all four episodes.


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Sunday, 16 May 2004 21:45:53 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 13 May 2004

Well, ok, I don't actually hate them... Heck I live in a town called “Deer Island,” so I guess I can't really hate them... But the one last year that jumped in front of me, the one I drove around just barely, the one where I was on a motorcycle, and it was dark, and the ditch I drove into in order to avoid the deer, well, it had a big fallen tree branch in it, and I never knew you could total a motocycle just from the cost of the broken plastic...

Yeah, well anyhow deer are ok with me unless they're in the middle of the freakin' road in the woods at night. Then they just suck.

But anyhow, none of this matters, especially since I got right back on that horse again this year (or more specifically I got back on all 203.5 of them).

My real point is, I laughed out loud while reading a pretty funny blog entry. And I thought I'd share the laughter. The link was gleaned from several other blogs I read. Enjoy.



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Thursday, 13 May 2004 20:05:51 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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"Never again," cried the man, "never again will we wake up in the morning and think Who am I? What is my purpose in life? Does it really, cosmically speaking, matter if I don't get up and go to work? For today we will finally learn once and for all the plain and simple answer to all these nagging little problems of Life, the Universe and Everything!"

The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything is coming soon to a theater near you! Heck yeah!

“Exactly!”   - Deep Thought

Thanks to Travis for the link :)



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Thursday, 13 May 2004 09:46:30 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 09 May 2004

We interrupt this serious blogging effort to bring you something completely irrelevant.

You know it had to happen. Remember the Star Wars Kid? Of course you do. Seen Kill Bill? Of course you have. Maybe you even bought the t-shirt. Well, here you go:

http://content.collegehumor.com/media/movies/killbill.wmv

Enjoy.



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Sunday, 09 May 2004 00:34:11 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 30 April 2004

Forgive the randomness... Can't resist posting:

http://subservientchicken.com/

Burger King is - well - weird. :-)



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Friday, 30 April 2004 19:23:54 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 26 April 2004

Rory Blyth, who is one of the funniest and (he said seriously) most thought-provoking people I have ever read, is one year old today. Or, rather, his blog is one year old.

And to celebrate, he chronicles his favorite posts from the first year.

(I can't believe the assFeed machine still works. Cooool. :-))

If you have not had the pleasure of reading Rory's unique perspective on the world, you're missing out.

But if you get hooked like I did, don't blame me.

Blame Rory. ;-)



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Monday, 26 April 2004 20:43:18 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 07 April 2004

I'm going to be arrested on April 29th. A warrant is being issued, and I'm going to jail at Red Robin, and I need you to bail me out. Seriously, if I spend too much time there, I'll get fat and stuff, so help me here, friends!

Apparently they'll be coming to arrest me at work, and I'll be stuck in holding til people help me out and I can post bail. Of course, it's all a fundraiser to benefit MDA, so it's for a good cause.

Wanna help? Contact me. I don't think I particularly care to share a burger with some guy in a flower dress named Bruno. Save me - Please.

I'll post more when I have it.



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Wednesday, 07 April 2004 21:36:57 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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Intel has served up a (very addicting) simulation game that will give you a taste of what it's like in my little corner of the universe. Think you've got what it takes? Heheheh, give it a try... May not be as easy as you think!

The IT manager - overworked and underappreciated. You know the story. Back in school, always the last to be picked for football, but the first one they ran to when they accidentally deleted a homework assignment. Not much has changed since then. But the fact is it takes a special skill set to manage an IT department. As IT manager you need to monitor industry trends and administer mission-critical resources for an entire company. At the same time, you have to manage increasingly tighter budgets - finding ways to do more with less - and possess the people skills to oversee staff and run interference with top decision makers.

The Intel® IT Manager Game tests your entire skill set - people management, resource allocation, strategic analysis and planning. It also tests your courage under fire - can you stand up to the scrutiny of top management along with that of your peers in the industry? Will the decisions you make result in breathtaking profits or devastating losses? Will you enjoy the sweet taste of victory or the bitter agony of defeat? Are you destined for management glory or will you be the kid sitting on the sidelines, waiting for the bell to ring? Find out by
playing the Intel® IT Manager Game now.

Thanks to Scott for sending me the link.



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Wednesday, 07 April 2004 12:02:43 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 01 April 2004

I must say, I was just a little surprised at how many people actually thought I was being serious earlier today... I mean - DOG SEAT BELTS??? Come on! ;-)

My story was borrowed from a pre-planned radio show on 1190-KEX here in Portland. The radio personalities notified some listeners a day ahead of time, to have them help to make it that much more believable. It worked.

The first person I heard from among many today was my friend, co-worker and neighbor, Mike. He seemed shocked that my dog, Buddy, was in jail.

My reply: “Can you *believe* that crap????”

He wasn't the only one. :-o

Once the radio show started this afternoon, not only did the phone calls start rolling in to the KEX studio, but the local and state police offices started getting a lot of phone calls, too. The Portland Police Bureau was warned ahead of time, and it sounds like they were ready, but the Oregon State Patrol wasn't aware or prepared for a bunch of phone calls from angry and confused people wanting to know what the heck was going on with this “new law.”

Classic.

Anyhow, Happy April Something-or-Another. :-)



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Thursday, 01 April 2004 19:52:05 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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I used to be a cop. I don’t have a problem with laws that make sense. I do, however, have a serious problem with stupid laws that go too far.

On Wednesday evening, I became a victim of Oregon's new PET RESTRAINT LAW.

This law requires that you restrain your pet (dog, cat, ferret, whatever) in special seat belts while traveling in a moving vehicle. Yes, that’s right, Dog Seat Belts. The cost of these special animal restraints runs anywhere from 20 to 30 dollars, if you can find one. Holding an animal in your lap is NOT acceptable. Animals are apparently also required to be restrained in the back of an open pick-up bed in an attached animal carrier. This law actually went into effect January 1, 2004 but only warning tickets were given out until March 1, and since then they've been writing citations for real. And I got screwed.

So now I owe a fine of $150 for my first offense and my dog was confiscated to the local animal shelter, and I have to go there to get him back, but I can’t do that until I show proof that I have a pet restraint in the car. Plus, I’m told that if I get caught a second time, they’ll take my pet from me permanently and charge me with animal neglect.

The stupidest part is that it wasn’t even a cop that saw my dog walking around in the back seat – It was someone working on a construction crew on a highway near my house. Any Oregon State police officer, city cop, OR roadside worker can act as a witness in court according to the statute. If the road crew sees you and calls the police, they can either find you and pull you over (like me), or they can send you a citation in the mail.

This sucks. How the heck do these laws get passed???

Update: See Hook, Line, Sinker ...



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Thursday, 01 April 2004 00:01:18 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Friday, 12 March 2004

“You can start a very long and pointless discussion by wondering about this topic on the net.”

Yeah, no kidding. Nothing says lame quite like “THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PRONOUNCE THAT!”

Gimmee a break...

Read here: http://www.eeng.brad.ac.uk/help/.faq/.unix/.pronun.html



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Friday, 12 March 2004 18:05:09 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 24 February 2004

Bike? CHECK!!  Video Camera? CHECK!!  Sheer Cliff? CHECK!!  Parachute??? Uhhh...

Oh my my my my my.. It hurts sooo bad just to watch. Can't say I didn't warn you.

Note to self: Make sure parachute's properly rigged before riding off cliff.



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Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:45:31 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 07 February 2004

Not because it has to be (Excel can be a great tool when used correctly and in the right places). But go ahead, look me straight in the eye, tell me you've never run into some rendition of this:

http://neopoleon.com/blog/posts/434.aspx

Rory is hillarious. I've been reading his comics (and site) off an on for a while. He hits this one right on the head.



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Saturday, 07 February 2004 18:28:28 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Monday, 02 February 2004

Ummmm, there are times, despite my underlying conservative sensibilities, when I have to wonder if we shouldn't just pass a couple more new laws. Case in point:

HOLLAND, Michigan (AP) -- Tacking Jr. or II onto a boy's name is too common, a new father decided, so the self-described engineering geek took a software approach to naming his newborn son.

Jon Blake Cusack talked his wife, Jamie, into naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.

You've gotta be kidding me. I cringe to think how many jokes this kid will be the butt of. Middle school is going to be rough kid - you have been warned... But that's okay: While everyone else in your grade is trying to convincingly blame all their problems on their parents, you'll be able to do so with complete legitimacy. So hey - hang in there.



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Monday, 02 February 2004 22:46:55 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 28 January 2004

Mary Jo Foley of Microsoft Watch asks us the most important question of the week:

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer and presidential-hopeful Howard Dean: Separated at birth? "Monkeyboy" Ballmer and "Ranter" Dean have more in common than meets the eye.

True. True.



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Wednesday, 28 January 2004 23:58:41 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 21 January 2004

Press Release: 

IF NASA FINDS CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE OF AN OCEAN ON MARS, AMERICA EATS FREE GIANT SHRIMP

"We have closely followed NASA's recent exploration of Mars and all of us are rooting you on to find ocean water on the Red Planet," Davis wrote. "The 'Free Giant Shrimp' offer is our way of saying NASA's exploration of Mars and the discovery of ocean water would be 'one small step for man, one giant leap for seafood.'"

Riiiiiiight... Hey, ya never know?




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Wednesday, 21 January 2004 22:40:52 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Saturday, 17 January 2004

Before you run the linked file, read the instructions below - It is important that you follow them closely.

Check this out:

  1. Keep one hand on your mouse throughout the whole time you are doing this.
  2. Download, unzip and then run the attached program (optical.zip, linked below).
  3. Concentrate on the small dot in the center of your screen for about 30-40 seconds.
  4. Now look closely at your hand (the one which is still on the mouse).
  5. Now enter a comment below. :-)

 - g

optical.zip (10.65 KB)

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Saturday, 17 January 2004 19:39:17 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Wednesday, 14 January 2004

The image of a toilet in the middle of a tranquil pond is strange enough. But that's not the weirdest part. Or maybe it is, I dunno.

Uh, yeah. Let me think. Not. Who the heck comes up with this stuff, anyhow?

 - g

(p.s. you need Quicktime to view the movie thing)



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Wednesday, 14 January 2004 17:55:31 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 11 January 2004

I was blog surfing here, meaning hopping from the blog of someone I know to some blog they had linked, and through several iterations of that process, whenever something seems like it might be interesting (sounds kinda like “my sister's girlfriend's cousin's brother's second-grade teacher's daughter, eh?). Sometimes you find things you can't help but read and tell others about. Some of those things are, well, just wrong. Others I can post to my blog. :-)

So, here is one I can post, and you gotta read this. But first, for the record, how I got there:

I'm reading an RSS feed from Tom's Adventures in Troubleshooting web site (and no, I don't know him, but someone else somewhere has his site linked and it was interesting to me). Tom had a comment (link above) about a problem Julia is having on her web site (which I am respectfully not linking to because I know there are a number of younger readers of my blog and the language is a little too colorful for those people). Julia, in the midst of her troubles, consulted an attorney named Adam Rosman, who practices law in Washington, D.C. and apparently worked in the White House as Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Staff Secretary in 2000-2001. Cool. Makes me wonder if he likes to watch The West Wing, too? I mean, he worked there. Can you watch a TV version after actually working there?

So anyhow, that's the end of the surfing trail, because Adam Rosman's web site contains a truly-interesting article he wrote entitled “A LEGAL ANALYSIS OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS - Gandalf as Torturer: The "Ticking Bomb" Terrorist and Due Process in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings.”

Hahahah, that's cool. :-)

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Sunday, 11 January 2004 10:17:04 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Thursday, 08 January 2004

I am not sure why, but I feel I have to post this. Golum - hero to white wannabe rapper kids. Argh.

Have a nice day :-)



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Thursday, 08 January 2004 17:56:24 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Tuesday, 06 January 2004

MSNBC put up an online survey - It's totally non-scientific, but it is a fun and sure-fire way to start a friendly competition among friends.

I'm scared. ;-)



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Tuesday, 06 January 2004 18:23:03 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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 Sunday, 28 December 2003

WOW.

Thought of the day -- There are certain things in this world that, if it wasn't for the fact they were so friggin funny, should probably be made illegal. 'Nuf said:

http://www.jondavis.net/MP3/ONightDivine.m3u  (MP3 stream)

I'm laughing my ass of. My friend is looking at me like I snapped or something. Heh.

 -g



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Sunday, 28 December 2003 17:47:26 (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
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