Rory Blyth makes me laugh so hard, so often. Dude, Rory - you gotta stop... Heh...

In his post the other day, "DO NOT RESIST THE EVANGELIST," Rory warned that unless viewership of his Windows Mobile development screencasts (called TinyThings - and they're great - go here to see them) grew by ten fold, he threatened to eat a full bag of... Oh, here let him say it:

"If traffic to TinyThings does not increase by ten-fold during the next revolution of the planet Earth around its axis, I WILL EAT ONE ENTIRE BAG OF GOURMET LOW-FAT CHEEZEE-POOF SNACKS. IF THE LACK OF TRAFFIC CONTINUES, I WILL EAT ANOTHER BAG EVERY TIME THE EARTH COMPLETES A REVOLUTION"

But it gets worse - if the lack of ten-foldedness (?) continues, Rory will resort to letting a viscous microbe loose on a lone fluffy Ewok, unless... Oh here, just read:

"AND IT SHALL DO SO IF, BY THE TIME THIS PLANET HAS THRICE REVOLVED FULLY UPON ITS AXIS, TinyThings HAS NOT BEEN VISITED BY TEN MILLION NEW MOBILE SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS. AND YOU BETTER MAKE ‘EM ENTHUSIASTIC ‘CAUSE WE DON’T LIKE THOSE MOPEY ONES AROUND HERE."

Yeah, so ummmm - the first day results - well, go see the video:

• I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I - The Microsoft Crusader Lays Down the Law

I sure hope there's ten milllion visitors by day three....

The power went out at my house last night, due to a rather impressive wind storm. I haven't heard howling wind like that - well - I guess since I live in Missouri. And that was usually due to a tornado.

Anyhow, the power's been out at my place for like 8 hours, and driving down the road into town was a lot like driving through an ocean of tree branches - quite literally. So now I'm in town at Starbucks. 

It was pitch-black dark when I was trying to get ready to leave (had a early doc appointment), and I found that - in classic geek fashion - I have not yet bought a generator (procrastination and cost aversion), and my flashlights (all three) were dead. But of course they were...

So much for the classic, common sense emergency plans. What to do? Well, I have made all these investments in geeky stuff over the past few years, and there's a couple devices I carry around for work. So, what are the Real Geek Tools that can save you in a blackout?

Well, actually, there's just one: The Blackberry 8700.

In the pitch black, a little blinking red light told me not only that I had mail, but also where the device was located. I grabbed it, rolled the thumb-wheel, and voila! Instant night-light! Seriously, the 8700 spills enough light to illuminate the area around you quite well. Up stairs, down hallways, you name it. It's bright when it needs to be.

And it's a phone. And a loud alarm clock. And an email client. And a chat client for everyone else you know who's bumping their heads into walls who has a Blackberry. Go ahead, call your local public utility, check in with them and ask when the hell the power's gonna be back on. You can't watch your TV or use the computer to surf the net or anything, so email is nice. Oh wait - but you can surf the web! Ahhh, Blackberry you rock my wind-swept world. Or something. Yeah. Anyhow, everything works.

If you don't have a Blackberry 8700 and you live in an area where the power goes out with any frequency, you just don't know what you're missing. It's your one-stop-blackout-shop.

Update: The power came back on at 4:10 p.m. Power lines were down all over the place, and it's amazing actually that they got the power back up so fast, considering the damage that was done. Nice job, Columbia River PUD.

UPDATE! SuitSat1 is not dead - it's just transmitting at a low power. From Bil Munsil comes the following info:

"SuitSat1 is still alive and ham operators and other folks all around the world are receiving the audio, telemetry and SSTV picture.

"Go to http://www.aj3bu/blog/ to listen in."

So, they tossed an empty spacesuit out of the International Space Station earlier today, and it's out there orbiting the planet, but the radio transmitter they stuck in there that many were hoping they'd be able to listen to on their police scanners apparently went dead.

From SpaceWeather.com:

Space is cold - apparently too cold for SuitSat's batteries. The Earth-orbiting spacesuit stopped transmitting shortly after it was thrown overboard from the International Space Station on Feb. 3rd. Probable cause: lack of power.

This doesn't mean that SuitSat was a failure. The experimental satellite was "launched" to answer questions such as "Can a spacesuit-satellite function without internal temperature controls?" The answer, apparently, is "no." Next-generation SuitSats will take this into account.

SuitSat will continue to orbit Earth for weeks, spiraling slowly into the atmosphere. Stay tuned for information about seeing SuitSat in the night sky.

Visit http://spaceweather.com for updates.

Portland Nerd Dinner - be there and be square!

Chris Tavares is - as of this evening - a former employee of mine. He deserves some serious congratulations, as he has accepted a terrific dream-job position with a little software company you might have heard of that's based in Redmond, Washington. He'll be working in the patterns and practices arena. Congrats to Chris!

So, on Thursday a bunch of nerds are getting together for a special "see ya later Chris" dinner - plus it'll be the regular nerd dinner fare, for sure.

Details are on Rich's blog.

Without fanfare or even much notice, Western Union quietly shut down it's telegram service last week. No more ability to send a message for delivery. I kind of liked them, though I rarely used the service. That's too bad. The Internet has grown, evolved, consumed the space and taken completely over.

Effective January 27, 2006, Western Union will discontinue all Telegram and Commercial Messaging services. We regret any inconvenience this may cause you, and we thank you for your loyal patronage.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact a customer service representative.

(via Adam Gaffin)

The Onion has some insight as to how Blackberry users will be forced to cope if the unfortunate shutdown actually ever occurs. As is fairly typical at the Onion, there's some truth behind the satire...

Josh Bancroft, who publishes the TinyScreenFuls.com blog and podcast, posted a link to an auction on eBay for his Nephew's giant ball of chewed gum.

Well, now - that's different.

Josh's nephew, Marcus, apparently has a patient and tolerant mother, as she allowed Marcus to store the gumball in her refrigerator for the past six years while her son grew it over time.

"For you gum manufacturers, this could be quite the centerpiece on your boardroom meeting table or displaying in your reception lobby."

There's bound to be someone out there who wants this thing. Just doing my part for a good cause. Auction ends today! 

• Visit the eBay Auction here - 7-day listing, Ends Feb-02-06 17:22:13 PST

Just in case you're, like, dead or something and missed the news on every other blog out there, Internet Explorer 7 Beta 2 was released as a public beta yesterday (while I was flying across the country).

So - go get it if you're a beta lover. Or a browser lover. Oh, and you'll have to be running a valid copy of Windows to install the software. The installer provides the opportunity to download and install the MS Malicious Software Removal Tool during the browser installation. Smart move, Microsoft.

Virtual Servers - gotta love 'em, gotta hate 'em.

If you ever have to support a large number of dev and test servers in your IT environment and have found yourself frustrated with the administrative and technical overhead, a virtual machine architecture might be for you. It's all the rage these days, but (trust me on this one, I should know) there's lots of ways to de-optimize (read: screw up) a virtual machine/server environment. To make it work effectively, there are a few things that you need to know and do to make your environment hum like a well-oiled (virtual) machine.

The problem is, until recently there has been relatively little prescriptive architecture for using virtual environments for specific test environments. In the case of Microsoft Virtual Server, there is now a reference architecture and detailed documentation that you can take advantage of by just downloading the documents:

Windows Server System Reference Architecture Virtual Environments for Development and Test (WSSRA-VE) can help large organizations and enterprises create environments for development and testing that emulate their own production environments. The guidance describes the architectural blueprint, planning considerations, deployment practices, and operational considerations for creating and supporting a virtualized instantiation of the Windows Server System Reference Architecture. It leverages the power of Virtual Server 2005 and automated deployment and configuration tools to minimize the physical infrastructure and logistical overhead necessary to deploy emulations of various data center services.

Like WSSRA itself, the WSSRA-VE is intended to aid users in their own effort to model their operational environment and condense it to a scale that can be representative of the infrastructure integration challenges facing developers and testers of distributed, message-based applications and IT services, and still be inexpensive and relatively economical to build and use throughout a large-scale IT organization.

I had a layover at the Denver International Airport for several hours today, so I called my mom, who lives over near Boulder. She jumped in the car and drove over to the airport for coffee and lunch.

The Pur la France chicken pot pie in the main terminal upper level is highly recommended. And so are those deals where they announce they have over-booked and will give a round trip ticket to anyone who will volunteer to take the next flight. I got lunch with my mom, a free round trip ticket, first class seat for no extra charge on the next flight, and on top of that I am able to work right now in the airport during business hours instead of being on an airplane during the time that counts. So I was able to test a very cool new demo version of one of our security software products and test market it to my mom. She provides good feedback.

I sent her a Logitech Quickcam Pro the other day so we can do video instant messaging and calls with Live Messenger v8, and I was showing her how to use the notebook camera I bought for my end of the connection. That's her right there, snapshot taken with my notebook Logitech cam (which is a great little camera).

Well, off to North Carolina... Then back home to Portland.

Security training - especially good, quality training - can be hard to come by without traveling somewhere and paying some hefty class fees. That's why my eyes opened wide when I found the Carnegie Mellon University/CERT Virtual Training Environment, which has a whole slew of great documents, tutorials and other resources that can enable anyone to learn a whole lot about computer, network and application security and forensics.

The Virtual Training Environment (VTE) is a Web-based knowledge library for Information Assurance, computer forensics and incident response, and other IT-related topics. VTE is produced by the Software Engineering Institute at Carnegie Mellon University.

What specifically is available? The VTE houses four types of training materials:

• Documents: Whitepapers, handbooks, instruction guides, and other written material related to one or more IT topics such as information assurance, computer forensics, or incident response.
• Demos: Demos are narrated recordings of instructor’s desktops. They enable users to watch and listen as an instructor describes the activities he or she is performing on a particular machine or piece of software.
• Lectures/Modules: Modules are actual class instruction that has been video captured and transcribed. Modules are synchronized to a PowerPoint slideshow. Users can navigate through the module using the slide title or using VCR-like controls.
• Labs: Labs are hands-on training exercises in IT-related topics using virtual machines. Each Lab has an accompanying walkthrough document and can be reserved and ‘taken’ using the browser.

All of the materials except the labs are available to the public, without having to sign up or anything. The hands-on labs are available only to organizations that have a relationship set up with CERT. There's not any obvious information on the site that indicates how to establish that relationship. but I did a Google search and found a brief announcement on the Carnegie Mellon University site indicating that emailing the VTE support email address (which is available on the VTE site link, below) is the way to find out more.

Access the CERT VTE at: http://vte.cert.org/

The Microsoft Download Center has a new audio podcast available (MP3 and WMA formats are listed) titled "How Microsoft IT Implements Encryption Using SQL Server 2005."

Podcasts appear to be a new thing there (first one was posted on January 19th), although I am not sure the technical name of "podcast" is accurate in this case, since I don't find a RSS Subscription feed anywhere that points to the files, and that's kind of half of what makes it a podcast. If anyone can find a RSS feed for these, please let me know.

But at any rate, there's some good content there. If you're an IT pro looking for some good drive time geek out audio, click here to search for podcasts on Microsoft Downloads. I'm grabbing "Podcasts: How Microsoft Information Security Protects Critical Information Assets" for my flight to North Carolina on Monday. Between that and the Battlestar Galactica season one video, I think I'll have plenty of content to keep me busy between powerpoint deck edits.

(via Chris Pirillo)

Dude. You think Robert Hamburger's the bomb? (You're right if you do, by the way)

Well then you MUST check out the Ask a Ninja video podcast blog thingie.

"You've got questions. Ninja's got answers."

Go here, don't delay: http://askaninja.blogspot.com/

Hahah. Sweet, super sweet. You can also subscribe to the video podcast in iTunes.

CNN has an article that covers the 25 worst words you can use in your resume. Why are they so bad? In a nutshell, because:

a) everyone uses them, so there's no originality, and
b) they don't really mean anything

Seriously. Read the article and then do something about it. I've looked at a couple hundred resumes in the past month or so and this article is spot on. Good advice that needs to be read by all.

Resumes are (or, rather should be) about standing out from the crowd on the merits and saying something real, so take the time to do it well. That's what the potential employer is looking for.

Oh, and never be your own resume editor. Always rely on a hard-core, ruthless and smart copy editor to point out your flaws. And if that makes you uncomfortable, find a therapist or trusted friend to help you with that character problem and you'll not only get over that hump, you'll also probably interview better.

If you're a geek and you don't know what Gnomedex is, you're truly missing out on something amazing. It's an annual conference, spawned from the brain of Chris Pirillo, and it's an event where a whole slew of the ultimate geeks and even some nerds gather and talk about all kinds of cool stuff. For example, last year IE7 was demo'ed for the first time at Gnomedex, where the IE team announced and showed off RSS integration in the browser and Longhorn/Vista OS. And many, many other interesting presentations were made. But most importantly, the people you meet are awesome.

• Details and info is here - go read
• Content from last year's conference sessions is here - go watch if ya like
• Sign up here - I've got my tickets, get yours before they're all gone

There are 300 seats in the main hall. 100 are already sold. If you're going (or think you might be), act now! If you know a true geek and want to give him or her a great gift, a Gnomedex ticket and a trip up to Seattle is a terrific thing to do for someone.

Be there and be square. Word.